Online dating

Over the years, I have attempted to meet people in a variety of ways, from way “back in the day” Westword ads in Denver to whatever that agency was called that you made a video and had a profile in a big 3-ring binder. As time passed I moved with the times to online personal sites. I tried free sites and even paid for at some point.

bad day match

And it was fun. Mostly. My friend and I spent hours looking at Westword ads and coming up with clever profiles for ourselves. There was some kind of character limit, so we had to be creative. At the big video site, another friend and I spent at least one evening a week watching videos (on VCR tapes, no less). We watched ones we like and ones we found hilarious. Yet another friend and I chuckled over online ads.


Although I have put up profiles several times over my life, I never actually dated much via any of those avenues. I think I might have gone on one date years ago from Match and a short sweet romance from Craigslist, that really is about it.

Since January, though, I decided to give it a serious try. I decided to answer some ads and to actually go out on some first dates. And I did. (yay me!)

Here’s what’s weird about that. Dating via an online site is kind of like dating in public. It’s happened more than once that after I returned from a first date (or “meeting,” as my friend J calls it), I went to my profile to see what it was about my profile that attracted that particular person. I’ve wanted to change my profile to eliminate similar dates – only – if I did that, then that person would see the change. See what I mean about dating in public? There have been times I’ve wanted to go back to my profile and make a strong statement, something like, “Please don’t message me if you plan to argue with me about what I believe, my identity or my hair” I’ll let y’all imagine the other ridiculous things that I have heard at these first meetings.

danger zone

It seemed somehow wrong, though, knowing that those same people could go to my profile and see my comments, right there, out in the open. After a number of first meetings, however, I wasn’t so sure. And now that I’ve talked with someone else who’s in a similar position, I’m ready to change my tune. It’s time to take my own advice. I’m ready to add those caveats in clear, concise English. Since when is it wrong to ask for exactly what I want?



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