Archive for April, 2011

Gianni’s Steakhouse in Wayzata

Gianni’s Steakhouse in Wayzata. I love this gastronomic accounting!

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Grocery Shopping – for fun?

After a year of self-imposed buying rigidity, I hereby declare the Tyranny of the CSA Box officially over (till May, anyway). Let’s go shopping – YiPPie!

I have been buying the bulk of my produce from CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture) for the last 3 years. For the last two, I bought those veggies almost year round, purchasing a spring/summer share, a winter share and a deep winter share. Each year I have gotten progressively more strict with my buying habits buying almost no produce from the grocery store as long as I am receiving veg from the local farm. I don’t remember feeling this way last year, so maybe I wasn’t as strict, but this year I am really excited to go to the store and buy things I want to eat, as opposed to eating what gets delivered. I still intend to buy food that is in season and locally produced, but still, choosing all my food feels a bit decadent after all this time.

Lest I come across as too saintly, I will freely admit that though I preach seasonal, local, whole foods, I quite regularly buy products that are none of the above. I compiled a list (just in case you were wondering). In the meantime, I am excited to go to the store and see what is out and about locally that I can choose for dinner!

tofu – I buy House brand, which comes from either CA or NJ (hey, they installed a photovoltaic solar electric system, that must count for something)

brown rice – CA

black and red beans – sometimes I get local

chick peas – CA

olive oil – Greece or Italy

popcorn – I get it at CostCo, it probably comes from all over the country

rice/almond crackers – CA

Pasta Joy brown rice pasta – Canada

rice noodles – Japan, Thailand

sweet potato noodles – Korea

Bodhi’s peanut butter Skippy or Jif

Tofutti fake sour cream and cream cheese – NJ?

Chic’n by Quorn – not seasonal or local – made from mycoprotein – from the UK?

Morningstar Farm’s Chipotle Black Bean Burgers – ?

Daiya fake cheese – it’s made from cassava, which has the same origins as tapioca – CA?

Silk Chocolate Soy – I actually didn’t drink much of this last year but I started drinking protein shakes again a few months ago – speaking of that…

Sun Warrior Brown Rice Raw Vegan Protein Powder – it isn’t a whole food and probably can’t be in season, but their website says that they want to uplift humanity. 🙂

A bit less frequently I buy PopTarts, Oreos, Amy’s Frozen meals, Annie’s ravioli, Tofurky Brats, real cheese, wheat flour, non-wheat flour, gluten free mixes (mostly brownies), chocolate chips, seaweed and various condiments.

And that’s just at home. If I go out I regularly eat sweet potato fries, other brands of veggie burgers, bread, pasta, regular french fries, desserts, long distance veggies, frozen veggies and the occasional fruit.


East Coast – Ho!

So, I got an interview. Yippie. I had to borrow money from my mom in order to make it to the interview, but hey, that’s what family is for, right? They are only interviewing two other people and they extended their deadline to get me in – so I think I have a pretty good shot at the internship. Obviously, or I wouldn’t be flying all the way out there. I’m super excited about all the possibilities. Also, I am kind of going to consider this a kind of vacation. I will be gone from Sunday to Wednesday, that’s kind of like a long weekend, right? 

5 in the hole?

So, back in my strong Science of Mind days, someone told me about the “hole card.” I think it was my friend Paula. She said that if you *said* that you really wanted A, but meanwhile in the back of your mind you were holding on to B as a kind of back up, or hole card, that you were kind of jinxing yourself. Ok, she probably didn’t say “jinxing,” but that was the idea. That you were holding back your “Ace in the hole.” The idea was that you were not giving yourself 100% to idea A, that you were holding a little back just in case A didn’t work out. The idea is to really put your attention and energy on what you want, and not to waver.

As I’m typing it, though, it sounds a little like another concept she told me about, “New Age Guilt Trips,” an idea she was strongly opposed to. That idea was something like saying that you caused all your ailments because you weren’t positive enough and such, so isn’t that the same? If you don’t put your 100% on the idea A, if you spare some attention for the “whatifs” then somehow you don’t deserve A?

I just sent off my first letter to a local post-match internship site and I can’t decide if that was a good idea or not. In my last round of applications, I applied for 3 out of state which all seemed like good placements to me. Yesterday someone in class (my last class EVER) came up to me and said that she heard that I applied at one of those sites (she matched with them already) and told me about what a great site it would be. She also told me that they are typically slow in process and it might take a while to hear from them. It was the site that I was least sure about because I have very little experience in that area, but hearing her talk about it made me feel excited about it too.

However…the bottom line for me is that I must get an internship. I do NOT want to go through this process again next year (or ever for that matter) and I am just about beyond caring how well of a “fit” the site is. Yes, I still want to work with children, but if that isn’t in the cards for next year, I can live with that.

So, am I shooting myself in the foot by applying locally to a site that really has very little to offer that I am very interested in? I mean, yes, it would mean I don’t have to move – and you already know the parts about MN I will miss – so that’s good, right? I would mean working a ridiculous number of hours, since it would mean that I would have to continue at my private practice for the duration (given the low stipend). And I just thought of this this morning, it would give me the year to sell my place so that when the year is up I could move easily.

But it feels something like a hole card, like I am just trying to keep my options open.Not that I consider this local site to be much of an Ace…more like a 5 of diamonds. The truth is I am keeping my options open.

So, is that a bad thing or what? What do you think?


Bodhi hits the trail

It was such a gorgeous day out today (64 big degrees!) so I took Bodhi out for a walk.

After last summer’s heat stroke, Bodhi’s vet said no more walking for him, that it would be too hard on his system, but for any of you that know Bodhi, you understand that he is pretty high energy and I couldn’t really imagine never walking him again. So when the weather got cold I started taking him on very short walks – half of a tenth of a mile (whatever that is in math terms, I have no idea), adding a little bit each time. At first I was only walking him once every 3 or 4 days – he would be completely worn out even by such short walks, and I didn’t want to risk his health. By last week I was taking him just over a tenth of a mile every other day, more or less.

But today, when we went outside, Bodhi became VERY enthusiastic, hopping and leaping and harumphing around trying to convince me to go for a walk – a real one. I know because on these short walks I always go out of the driveway to the left, onto the circle my house is on. It’s a calm area and has always been the signal that we were going for a short walk (even before the heat stroke). Today, he was leaping and lunging to go out the driveway and to the right, our old running route.

It was a gorgeous day, like I said, and I figured what the heck. We can walk a mere half mile to the “ice rink” (a boarded up oval that the city fills with water in the winter) and I can let Bodhi lope around a while before heading home. It isn’t a very long walk and we can go as slow as we like. And so I geared up (phone, headphones, gps watch – sheesh! I used to say I loved running because you could just put on your shoes and go…) and off we went.

I should have known things weren’t going to go well, as Bodhi was so excited right after that first right turn he could hardly stay beside me. Now, he has never done a perfect “heel” or anything, but he was pretty easy to walk last year. Today’s walk felt like the ones right after we got him from the rescue – pulling and jumping and moving right and left. I took a deep breath (or several) and tried to remind myself that I wasn’t in a hurry and that all this was good for him… It was a tough half mile. The least of my concerns were for his health or ability to make the walk. He was brimming with energy!

We got to the ice rink and I let him in. After a few lopes around I noticed that his collar seemed like it was going to fall off over his head so I slipped it off and into my pocket. I carefully locked the gate behind me and checked the other two, then stood back in the sun and watched him run. Bodhi really likes running and he looks so happy to me when he does. He stood up on the fence a couple of times and I said “Get off the wall…” and he got back down right away. See videos ———–>>>


I was thinking about how long I was going to let him run around and taking a little video when he stood up right where one of the gates are. I was thinking, “Huh, he’s pretty smart, remembering right where that gate is.” I issued my standard, “Hey!” and then watched, in horror, as the gate creaked forward, Bodhi’s front paws still on the top.

See more video ———->>>

I did not break into a run towards him, as I have learned from experience this will make him really put on the speed. I started walking, though and called his name in what I hoped was an enticing way, but once he figured out how to get his front feet down, he was out and gone.

So, there he was, running wild and free in an open area which is prone to having, you know, people all around, this big, Rottweiler colored dog with no collar… When he ran away before, it is usually from my yard. People in the neighborhood kind of know him and (except for the one lady that yelled at me for being in her yard AND for not retrieving my dog – why did she think I was in her yard in the first place?) most of them are pretty understanding. Also, I know that area pretty well now, and know which places I might be able to trap him in a corner. Further, I usually catch him by his collar…which was in my pocket.

Besides all of that, there was a little voice in the back of my mind saying, “Yeah, he could have another heat stroke and die out here, all the while, running away from me…”

He ran like the wind, around and around. I tried all my best tricks, including running away from him and then discovered a new one. I got out of sight and he came running…but not quite close enough to grab. Luckily he ran into a batting cage and I was able to corner him. By the time we got home, we had been out an hour – far more than I intended and I had gone almost 3 miles – which mean Bodhi must have covered at least 4. He’s tougher than he looks.

 

Attention!

You cannot notice what-is and complain about it, and be a vibrational match to the solution. When you were living the problem, you were asking for the solution, and Source said yes immediately. So, there’s never a reason for you to be wallowing around in a problem for more than about a second? You can get so good at this that before you’re even aware that the problem has gotten started, you’ve already got the solution under way.

— Abraham

So….I know this idea, about putting my attention on the things I want in the world, rather than the ways things are not working out for me, and yet I keep talking about what I am not getting with this internship business. I can’t seem to believe much in any affirmation that I have thought of so far, but after reading this quote I decided I needed to do something – and this is what I did.

I am going to miss Minnesota. I know I have been talking bad about the state for years, and that is probably wrong (more of that affirming what I DON’T want), but the truth is I will miss it. I love the snow, even when people are complaining and it’s a hassle to get out of the driveway. I love the bragging rights that come from living somewhere so climatically inhospitable. I like the summers, too, not too hot for too long, but plenty of good, warm days. I like that I can go running at noon without fear of heatstroke (for myself, anyway). I love my house, even with the mouse problem and dying water heater. I love that it has housed me so well these 8 years and that it has signs of me in every room.

I’ll miss my office – that might sound strange to some – but it is the first office I have ever had that was all mine. All my furniture, decorations and equipment. It has held laughter and tears and learning. I feel completely at home there. It’s a source of pride, too, this place that is the outward manifestation of myself as a business owner. When I got that name plaque on my door I really felt as if I had arrived, as if all those years of education finally had meaning.

Finally!

The things I’ll miss the most, of course, are not things at all, but people. I will miss first and foremost my very own rumi, who befriended me when no one else would, who calls me on my shit and supports me when I’m dumb. I will miss being able to sit with her in the living room for hours watching TV – with more pauses than TV sometimes as we chat. I will miss sharing goodies and laughing at silly things. I will miss treating her with popcorn and sweets and being treated to eggs from the farm. We live apart now and that’s probably good, because already we find ways to connect when we can’t actually be together, but I will still miss her in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.

I’ll miss choir, too. Joining the Twin Cities Women’s Choir was a big thing for me. First because I was terrified just to join, and second because they were so welcoming when I did. I have met some wonderful women there and have really enjoyed stretching my singing muscles week after week. I even enjoy memorizing the songs. I love that feeling of accomplishment as we sing each piece. many voices coming together to create something unique.

Twin Cities Women’s Choir

Not to mention the fact that just now, as I am readying myself to leave I seem to have made friends, finally. I found people who like to play cards with me and talk shit while doing it. They text spontaneously to get together and can talk equally about dating and making money. I filled a table for the very first time at Divas and Desserts. A classmate suddenly reached out to me with warmth and kindness. My stepson and I have reconnected in a great way.

And yet…I am looking forward to this move. I am excited to be reaching towards a new place, with all the new discoveries that will entail. It will be different than other moves – in more ways than one. For one thing, I have moved many times, most times really, by the seat of my pants, with no job or real idea what I would do when I got to where ever I was going. This move will have purpose and work attached to it. I will know that I have a job and a place before I get there. Thanks to the internets, I will have mapped out my place and the closest parks and co-ops. In the last ten years I have learned to behave in ways that support my beliefs, too, which means before I go I’ll also know where to get fresh local food and I will have probably bought my first share at a local CSA. I will be looking for a community choir to join and checking for meditation centers and maybe even a Center for Spiritual Living!

I’m eager to begin working, also. I look forward to the opportunity to really put into practice the things I have spent the last 4 years learning. I am excited about doing clinical assessments for children and families and do the hands on training that helps me to solidify that learning. I like the idea of working in a clinic, with a multidisciplinary team, too. I have loved my private practice but if it weren’t for school over the last few years I think it would have been more difficult and somewhat lonely. I value the idea of working as a team to help strengthen a family. I can’t wait to start on the next leg of my journey, developing into a psychologist.

Not that I am not nervous, mind you. I am nervous about going to a new place, staring all over again, again. I get a little sick feeling when I wonder what it will be like to be working as a psychologist and hope that the clinic I go to is a place that is welcoming and supportive. I expect a place that values my experience and challenges me to grow and improve. I look forward to learning and growing and developing a sense of professional identity.

Kinda long for an affirmation, huh?

Blooming sheets!

My mother buys odd sheets. She buys them one at a time at TJ Maxx, mostly, and she loves big patterns. She buys them with giant flowers and geometric designs in bright colors, dusky pinks and deep purples.

Even if you don’t like flowers, you have to admit they are vibrant!

She buys solid sheets to go with the ones with the bold designs. She has an amazing eye – when she is out shopping she can look at a sheet in the store and know that it will match one or more of the sheets she has at home. And you know what? She is mostly right. She buys the pillow cases separately as well, and still she chooses well. She buys great quality sheets, 300 or 400 thread.

Why, you are wondering, do I even care? I’ll tell you. When my mom gets tired of her sheets, her lovely, colorful sheets, she hands them down to me! They are fabulous sheets, all of them. They are smooth and comfortable and what’s more, they remind me of my mom. Really they are great sheets, and of a quality that I don’t think I can afford myself.

Here’s the thing, though. I am not great at matching. Even if I am wearing the thing I am trying to match. So sometimes, when I am putting sheets on my bed (usually just before I go to bed, tired and cranky, with my contacts already out) I am pulling out sheets and pillow cases and I have NO IDEA which sheet goes with which sheet. Last night I chose a lovely dusky pink flat sheet to go with my flamboyantly flowery sheet, but then could not, for the life of me, pick out pillow cases that matched. After 10 minutes, I gave up. Luckily, once the lights were off I didn’t even notice.

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