August 12

It’s still the 12th, just barely. Today I managed to finish the next draft of my dissertation proposal and so was allowed to catch up on the blog. Allowed by myself, not anyone else. Every time I sat down to do it I would feel this tiny poke in my stomach – “You have other things you need to write” it said. Now I’m all caught up and I feel kind of like I accomplished something. 🙂 It’s the little things in life, let me tell you.

Bodhi just keeps keeping on, he still isn’t having normal bowel movements but he continues to eat and drink and carry his bed around the house when he’s excited. I find that I am loathe to run these days – indoors or out. I feel like a bad mother, out there running without my running buddy. Plus it has been pretty hot, so it seems especially wrong to risk it, even though I was out on many other very hot days this summer.

I carry a flashlight when I take the dog out into the yard at night so I can check out what he’s doing. It feels a little weird. My yard is in an intersection and cars at the stop light can see us clearly… I usually wait till the light changes to go over and inspect the poop. That seems kind of ridiculous, but it’s true.

I am no longer afraid Bodhi is going to die – I mean – he made it this far, right? My new, crushing fear has been not being able to pay the mortgage. I am so thankful to all the people who have helped out – and yes – I did manage to pay the mortgage yesterday, long before the official “late date.” Now I just have to pay everyone else…


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